I have been blessed and cursed with being a Scorpio and an introvert. I say this because the combination of these traits have allowed me to love and hate people simultaneously. I love people enough where I have complete faith and believe in the best of them, all while knowing that people suck. They will hurt you, use you, and abandon you.
What a conflict right?
These traits have had a tremendous effect on my relationships. I end up falling for the wrong men, but because of my nature and naive faith, I love them harder. Even after I know they aren’t shit. I expect that love will magically make them do right by me. Ha!
My experiences should have put my faith in the ground a long time ago, but that’s the funny thing about faith….it’s hard to get rid of.
This is why I honestly think that I will never find anyone to match the kind of love that I have. My Scorpio nature will have my heart, soul, and body engulfed in the relationship while my introverted nature will hate everything about you, but will love you despite of. But the overlooker of flaws and lover of all things does not recieve back what she gives. The things I’ve sacrificed for others, I honestly don’t think anyone would do the same for me.
Even the simpliest acts of love that I have displayed will never be matched. No one is going to fight hard for me. Why? Because I don’t require it. I expect you to do what you say you will do. Why should I create obstacles and tests when you gave me your word? But that’s the kind of thinking that gets me where I am now.
Feeling unloved. Or maybe not loved enough. Unequaled. Unevenly yolked. Unrivaled. Unparalled.