I have a sticky note on my mirror that says, “People are experiences. I do not own anyone and no one owns me”. I look at it daily because I’ve always valued loyalty, commitment, and longevity. I once believed that when I opened my heart and my life to you, you will and should remain there forever.
You’re mine. You’re my friend. You’re my spouse. You’re my family member. Mine. Mine. Mine.
That way of thinking made things difficult when people left my life for any reason. On the flip side, I would remain in other’s lives no matter how uncomfortable it was to be there. Because I’m yours. Forever. I wanted to be “claimed” by others. It made me feel valued and worthy. Endings would devastate me.
What feels like so much loss in my life, I had to learn how to release. Release relationships that didn’t serve me. Release myself from the clutches of people who drained me. Allowing myself to be released by people who didn’t value me and to be real, maybe I didn’t enhance their life either.
People are experiences. This whole life is an experience. You can own cars, property, assests, but we don’t own people. When we view people this way, we are more grateful for the time that we have them. We appreciate what they mean to us in the moment. We appreciate them for the lessons they bring, whether they leave or if they stay.
We owe nothing to each other. You don’t own me. And I don’t own you. Let’s just enjoy the experience.