#parents

I’m a boy mom. I’m praying that I don’t become the mom that everyone complains about.

The “My son is my King” mom.

The “Nobody is good enough for my son” mom.

The “My son does no wrong” mom.

I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to be hard. Because my Jayden is just a great human. He’s so full of life! He’s curious. His laughter is infectious. He’s bright. He’s bold. He’s absolutely adorable (which he gets from his mom by the way).

He’s only been on this earth for a few years, but he’s taught me so much about patience, patience, and more patience. But oddly enough, he’s taught me a great deal about love.

Like this dude loves me. Like really loves me. Likes me even. I realize that this may change as he gets older. He’ll get mad at me for taking his phone away or not letting him go to a party or giving my opinion about a girlfriend. But for now, my toddler likes me.

He looks for me when I’m there and not there. He gives me hugs and kisses when I ask and even when I don’t. I think he thinks I’m funny and fun to be around. He dances and sings with me. He enjoys me. He’s taught me that I’m a pretty great person to be around.

He sees me. And boy, oh boy I can’t tell you how important that is.

To be seen.

This little dude has set the standard. He’s shown me how to love myself better. How to take care of myself so I can take care of him. And he’s shown me in his small, unawaring way, how others should be treating me.

Like I’m somebody. Because I am.

I’m Jayden’s mom.

Between being a new mom and the pressures of work, I haven’t felt like myself lately. I can’t remember the last time I put on make-up. Please don’t look at my nails or toes. Don’t ask me the last time I went to a concert, movie, or an outing without Jayden. Don’t even talk about the gym. Planet Fitness has just been taking my $20 every month, but haven’t seen me since I was pregnant.

The trip that my husband and I took in January was supposed to give me a new perspective. Remember, “Let’s practice self-care all 2019”? Well yeah, I haven’t been doing that.

I’ve always been one to put other’s needs ahead of my own, but it’s become especially bad these last weeks. I wake up with thoughts of “What do I need to do for my son, my husband, and my job today?”, but never, “What do I need to do for myself?”

I know being a mom is no excuse. I know for a fact that moms can stay in fashion and in shape, look polished and manicured, all while taking care of their family.

Well, let’s just say I haven’t gotten the hang of it yet. I’m a hot mess.

7 months may seem like enough time to get myself together but believe me, time flies and those months have been a blur of nursing, pumping, cleaning, washing, changing, feeding, entertaining, teaching, working, rinse, repeat.

It’s not that I hate doing these things. Being a wife and mother is everything I prayed for and I know responsibilities come with it. It’s just that I have to make myself a priority. I need to be taken care of too and I have to make the time to do it.

Now that I’ve recognized that it’s too much of a problem, I am determined to take a piece of my day and dedicate it to doing something for me.

So to all the other mommies who feel like me, let’s try to practice daily self-care. Give yourself 30 minutes to exercise, go get a mani/pedi, go see a movie by yourself, hell, just take the long way home if you have to. We need it. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t take care of the people we love.

Now let’s see if I can go practice what I preach.

Jayden’s Mom

New Mom, Who Dis?