I must admit I can be naive. I look at the world in these rose colored glasses. Believing that all people are good. But gone are the days when you could leave your porch door open. Gone are the days when you could let a man come pick you up from your home for a first date. And now apparently, you can’t park your own car in your own driveway.
Yesterday, to my surprise, I woke up to see my car window shattered. Not to be broken in, thank God, but just to be vandalized. Someone shot two of my windows with a pellet gun for fun. You can imagine how upset I was. I felt violated. Something I worked hard for was tampered with for the sake of….well nothing. The funny thing is, something told me to pull it in the garage that night. I usually do, but I got sidetracked and just didn’t. I figured it’s in my driveway, locked up, and I’ve left it out there before with no problem, so it should be ok. So when I made the discovery, I wasn’t just mad at who did it, but I was mad at myself for leaving it vulnerable. This situation opened up my mind to wonder:
How do you forgive yourself?
Although, someone else did the act, I played a part in it because of my own decision. I didn’t listen to my spirit. My intuition. The inkling. Whatever you want to call it, I ignored it. So because of that, I blame myself. This showed me that it’s just important to forgive yourself as you do others. Matter of fact, forgiving yourself is harder. You can forgive others and never have to deal with them again, but you, you can’t run away from yourself. You have to live with your own decisions and consequences.
So what will be my steps to forgiving myself? I will get it repaired immediately (my OCD won’t allow me to drive around like that for long). I will always, always, always park my car in the garage from now on. I will take this as a learning experience. It could have been much worse. This act of vandalism may have saved me from an actual break in somewhere down the road. And I will listen to my heart and spirit at all times.
I forgive them and I forgive me.