Validation is for Parking.

My hair was laid. I spent extra time on my make-up. My nails and toes were done. I had on a gorgeous dress. This particular day was the most beautiful I had ever felt.

I walked out of the room for a reaction and nothing.

No compliment. No, you look beautiful, amazing, pretty. Hell, I would have even taken cute. I got nothing. I went about my day, but deep down I was hurt. The one person I needed validation from, didn’t give it to me. Looking back on that moment now I realize that I was so busy wanting someone to see me, that I didn’t really see myself. I didn’t affirm myself. I was waiting for someone to confirm my reality because deep down, I didn’t know if it was true.

It’s not just looks that we try to find validation for, it’s our self-worth as well. We wait for that boss to recognize us and pat us on the back. We wait for that parent to finally say that they are proud of us. We sit on social media waiting for the likes and comments to pour in. We have become a society hungry for attention, validation, and approval.

So what happens when we don’t get it?

Depression happens. Suicide. Low self-esteem. Isolation. All because someone didn’t say we were pretty.

We have to affirm ourselves. We have to validate ourselves. Even if we have to stand in the mirror every morning and night saying affirmations until we believe it. For me, now when someone says, “You’re beautiful”, it’s only an addition to what I already know. I already said that to myself three times before they even got to me.

We are enough. We do enough. We have enough. We are beautiful. We are strong. We are smart. We are amazing. Now let’s go be these things because they true, not because they were told to us.

Today is Valentine’s Day.

Ladies, it’s that time of year where men are going to convince you that Valentine’s day doesn’t matter. That it’s a commercialized day. It was created by “the man” to destroy men’s pockets! Basically, this argument is to prepare you to get nothing or the bare minimum from them.

Listen. I get that one day shouldn’t be more important than another. I get that it’s a Monday. I understand that one day of gifts are not going to save a relationship, marriage, or courtship. However……

If you think the day is important, then the day is important. Period.

Just like Christmas or Thanksgiving or St. Patrick’s Day, if you want to celebrate it, than do that. Do not let anyone convince you that you shouldn’t. Find someone who is aligned with your beliefs or at least knows that it’s important to acknowledge.

No more down playing your desires because one man doesn’t want to give them to you. No more shifting your thoughts because a man doesn’t think they’re important. Also, don’t let a man totally skip the day like it doesn’t exist. Please see how dumb I was a few years ago here —–> https://sherrondays.com/2018/02/15/february-15th/

So recieve/ask for all the flowers. All the candy. All the cards. And if one won’t, another will. The right man will care about what you care about and will do whatever it takes to make you smile.

Happy Valentine’s Day‚̧