No Fear in Love.

We worry about who’s she’s been involved with, who’s he’s slept with, who’s hurt us before, if we’ll get hurt again. We worry, worry, worry. Especially when it comes to love. But rightful so. Who in their right mind would want to give all they have in the name of love, just to lose it all? I wish that pain on no one. I’ve experienced it before and never want to experience again. But who’s to say I won’t?  We can investigate, build up a wall, and be cautious all we want to, but if we really want love, we have to be willing to risk it all.

The beginnings of relationships can be a beautiful thing. The period of getting to know each other; learning the likes, dislikes, wants, and needs of another person can be an amazing experience. But then you realize how much you’re investing; how it could all be snatched away in one moment. That’s when the fear comes in. Then the worry. Then the breakdown of the relationship.

We get so caught up in the beginning and so worried about the end, that we forget about the middle.

When we do that, we lose moments. We sabotage something that could be beautiful. There are no promises, we don’t know if things will last, but we can take current moments and enjoy them now. We all have a past and we should think about our future, but don’t forget to live in the present.

#love #hope #faith

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Dear Future Husband

I’m seeing the dear future wife/dear future husband hash tags and posts everywhere on social media. Some people take a humorous approach to it, some think it’s cute to do, while others like myself believe in it. For me, it’s not meaningless. I am actively speaking into existence the things that I want in my husband. I am actively praying for him whenever the mood strikes. It’s because I believe in him. I believe that he is somewhere out there actively looking for me. Praying for me. It may sound crazy, but that is what faith is about. Speaking to the unseen. Speaking about things as though they are.

So if a spouse is what you desire, pray for them (to show up) and pray for them (their well-being).

Do not be ashamed of what you desire. If you want to be married then speak it. Put it into the atmosphere. Pray about it and believe it will happen for you. Don’t fall into the statistics and reasons why it can’t happen for you. If that desire is in your heart, it was put there and it will be fufilled.

#love #hope #faith
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How About I Just Marry Myself?

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My sister Melissa and I had a great conversation about this story last night. It can be found here: http://madamenoire.com/506085/houston-woman-marries-herself/

A 40 year old woman (which is not old by the way) decides since she is single with no prospects, so she is going to marry herself. Some say she was desperate. Some say she was bold and showed self-love. I say she gave up.

When I thought more about this, the story of Sara and Abraham came to mind. Sara laughed at God when she was told that she would have a baby at her old age (Genesis 18). She even chose to move in her own effort by allowing Abraham to impregnate their servant Hagar, because she believed she was incapable of having children. Even through her moments of doubt and devising her own plans, she still conceived a child just as God had promised.

So guess what? Even when you try to move in your own effort (like give up on love and marry yourself), you can still receive the promises God meant for you to have.

Why would he put a desire in your heart without providing a way to fulfill it?

May you never lose sight of the vision God gave to you. If you want to be a wife or husband, it will happen. If you want to have children, it will happen. Find the scriptures that coincide with the desires you have and meditate on them each day. Hold on to your faith and the promises that were given to you by any means necessary.

#love #hope #faith

Go Over, Not Under.

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

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1 + 2 = 2?

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

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Just Go Already!

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

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Welcome to the Friendzone

What is this place that we’ve created? Somewhere that we store people who like us, may even love us, but the feelings aren’t mutual. We hang out with them when we’re in between relationships to keep us from being lonely or bored. Going to the movies, breaking bread, inviting them over; all while knowing we have no romantic interest in them. Listen here, I don’t have a friend zone nor do I desire to be in one. Please don’t hit me up to go to Applebee’s or Olive Garden because your girlfriend dumped you.

We need to get back to real friendships.
If you’re friends, be friends with no gray areas. This is how people get hurt because they feel there is wiggle room for more. They have the Steve Urkel mentality of “I’m wearing them down”, when in your mind it will never go there. No one desires to be used just to pass the time. No one should accept being trapped in a friend zone when there is someone willing to give the entire area.

#love #hope #faith

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It is what it is.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for people to explain things to you. Especially those who feel like they don’t owe you anything.

No is an answer.
Silence is an answer too.

You could spend months, even years with someone and they can walk out on you without uttering a word. You could continue chasing them down, trying to get answers that you will never get, or you can accept that they will never give you what you’re seeking. Release yourself from the stress of trying to get deep answers to everything. Some people just don’t have them and some situations don’t require them.

#love #hope #faith

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It’s Just the Beginning

Have you ever been through a break up that just made you feel like your world was going to end? To the point where it feels like your heart is going to fall out of your chest? You’ve cried so much, you can’t sleep, and you’re struggling just to get pass those memories. Everything and anything reminds you of that other person. It’s tough. Especially when it’s an ending that you never wanted to happen. Losing or having to walk away from someone you love is a painful process, but that is just what it is, a process.

It is not the end.

It doesn’t feel like it now because the wound is still fresh, but in time it will heal. Just think of our lives as books. They contain chapters of love, heartache, joy, and pain. This is just a closing of one chapter that leads to the beginning of another. You could linger and keep rereading the same chapter hoping that the plot will change or you can see what twists and turns lay in the next. It is up to you in how long you wait to turn the page. #love #hope #faith

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Silence is an Answer too.

You know, there comes a point when you’ve just said all that you can say. You’ve called, you’ve texted, written letters, learned sign language, even spelled it out to them and they just don’t get it. You’ve exhausted every means of communication and it’s still not getting through. You’ve told them over and over again how you feel and they still don’t bother to listen. Their lack of effective commication has shown you how much they care. They dont. They no longer deserve your words. When you’ve said it all, let your silence speak for you. It can say more than you could ever speak.

#love #hope #faith