Unprotected.

Posted on by Sherron

I’m a black woman. I’ve always known I was black. From the moment I understood what race was. However, I never let it define me. I’ve just been a girl who became a woman. I never felt the need to put my blackness in the forefront. Never really saw how it affected me until recently.

When we talk about race, we automatically assume it’s about racism. Although I recognize that racism is all around us, this is not that kind of post. This is about me. A black woman. A black woman who doesn’t feel protected and I’m not sure if I ever have (with exception of my dad). And I’m wondering whose fault is that?

Protection does not just mean physically. It means emotionally as well. I have not felt emotionally safe in my relationships. I have not felt safe to rest. I have had to be strong constantly. I have had to be a work horse; always with 2 jobs or more. I have had to worry about everyone around me, take care of everyone around me, and neglect myself. I mention my blackness because this seems to be a theme for other black women I surround myself with and encounter.

And we are tired.

Who protects us when we have breakdowns? When we’re depressed? When we are exhausted? When we absorb all the anger and pain of our loved ones? When do we get to be soft and rest in our femininity?

Who takes care of us?

Is it our fault that we exude too much strength? Does it come from our distant past of being slaves? Working in the fields, in the house, taking abuse, being raped, breastfeeding all the babies, cooking all the food? Being ripped away from our husbands and children? Has that ability to take on pain just been passed down from generation to generation and we accept it as gospel?

Some could blame our men who have not learned to art of protecting, providing, and leading us. Most of them (including us) have been apart of broken homes and we have not been shown or taught what that type of household looks like.

I could come up with many excuses and reasons to why black women don’t feel safe. Many reasons why I don’t feel safe now. But the real issue is, how do we change it? Based on Malcolm X’s famous quote, this feeling, this issue is not new. But it’s something that needs to be addressed.

Protect the black woman.

These Two ♡

Posted on by Sherron

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I love looking at pictures of Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. They just exuded love. In their time together, not only did they pour into each other, but their love spilled out into the world. They were activists who’s passion about love and life was not able to be caged. They fought together, and I imagine them crying together, laughing together, and bouncing ideas off of each other. They built a life together. Built a family together. I see them lifting and encouraging each other. Of course with all marriages and relationships, when you’re on the outside looking in, you never know what’s really going on. I’m sure they had their difficult times, but what matters most is that they got through it together.

Where is this love?

Am I a fool to believe that this type of love still exists? In a generation of side chicks/dudes and THOTs, Housewives who aren’t housewives, and the acceptance of cheating, lying, and no commitments, can real love be found? What are the ones who still believe in love and marriage supposed to do? I say keep believing. Keeping hoping. Keep praying. I don’t believe that one generation is better than the next. The same opportunities that were available in the past, are still there now. There are still marriages standing the test of time. Although we may not have many images of it, it still exists. We can still find it.

So where is that love? It’s all around us. Waiting to be found.

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Go Over, Not Under.

Posted on by Sherron

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

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1 + 2 = 2?

Posted on by Sherron

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

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Just Go Already!

Posted on by Sherron

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

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I am Love.

Posted on by Sherron

You are looking at someone who loves love. I love to see people in love. I love to be in love. I love to give and receive love. But I discovered that my love was limited. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I felt that I didn’t have love. I was always looking for someone to give it to me. So what happened when I relied on one person to give me love?  I felt lonely and empty. I was on a never ending search for it.

Oh what a powerful revelation it was to discover I am love!

My love is not limited to one person, it can be given to everyone I come in contact with. So even in my single stage I can pour out love to my family, friends, my students, and through service.

I believe when we focus on giving love freely, we don’t have to look for it, it will search for us. It surrounds us. It is us.

#love #hope #faith

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Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way.

Posted on by Sherron

It would be easier to just turn around. To run back to the familiar. This road you’re on is too hard. You had to leave the person you love, some of your friends, even family. You want to go back because it’s lonely on this path and the destination is uncertain. All you know is that you don’t belong where you once were. It was too complacent and staggered. So you know it’s time to elevate. Unfortunately, some people are going to have to stay behind.

You can’t take the same mindset and habits where you’re going.

It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but don’t turn back. There will be some long days and lonely nights. But new experiences and new people await you. Promotion awaits you. The rewards will be greater than anything you’re leaving behind, but you can’t reach them if you keep trying to turn around.

#love #hope #faith

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Welcome to the Friendzone

Posted on by Sherron

What is this place that we’ve created? Somewhere that we store people who like us, may even love us, but the feelings aren’t mutual. We hang out with them when we’re in between relationships to keep us from being lonely or bored. Going to the movies, breaking bread, inviting them over; all while knowing we have no romantic interest in them. Listen here, I don’t have a friend zone nor do I desire to be in one. Please don’t hit me up to go to Applebee’s or Olive Garden because your girlfriend dumped you.

We need to get back to real friendships.
If you’re friends, be friends with no gray areas. This is how people get hurt because they feel there is wiggle room for more. They have the Steve Urkel mentality of “I’m wearing them down”, when in your mind it will never go there. No one desires to be used just to pass the time. No one should accept being trapped in a friend zone when there is someone willing to give the entire area.

#love #hope #faith

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It is what it is.

Posted on by Sherron

Don’t hold your breath waiting for people to explain things to you. Especially those who feel like they don’t owe you anything.

No is an answer.
Silence is an answer too.

You could spend months, even years with someone and they can walk out on you without uttering a word. You could continue chasing them down, trying to get answers that you will never get, or you can accept that they will never give you what you’re seeking. Release yourself from the stress of trying to get deep answers to everything. Some people just don’t have them and some situations don’t require them.

#love #hope #faith

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Amnesia.

Posted on by Sherron

The weather is changing. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. All these reminders that you are alone. It makes you start to think about the relationship that ended. All the fun you used to have and the places you used to go. You want to get back to love. A comfortable place where someone is holding you at night instead of loneliness being your company.

But wait.

Don’t forget the reasons why you are not together anymore. Remember the fights? The ignored phone calls and texts? The cheating? The blatant disrespect? Don’t let your loneliness give you a selective memory. Remember it ALL. That will help bring you back to reality. Do not let loneliness drive you back into the arms that did not know how to protect your heart. #love #hope #faith

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