People Pleaser.

Posted on by Sherron

For most of my life I didn’t like myself. I listened to all the negative things that people said about me.

“You’re too quiet”.
“You’re too shy”.
“You’re too this and not enough that”.

So I struggled. Trying to mold myself into what other people wanted me to be. I took on different personalities and personas to please everyone. I sought relationships and friendships where I could focus on another person instead of dealing with me.

It’s hard to be alone with yourself when you don’t like you.

Then all of a sudden when I turned 30, it was like a lightbulb went off (too bad it had to take that long). Instead of listening to others, I started listening to myself. I started on a path of self-discovery. I found out why I’m so reserved (which people look at as quiet), why I prefer to stay home versus going out, why I don’t do crowds, and why I prefer deep conversations and despise small talk. I’m an introvert. I didn’t even know what that meant at first, but once I figured that out, my whole world changed. Instead of feeling like something was wrong me everytime I heard, “Why are you so quiet?” Every. Single. Time. I was among people, now I could care less. I speak when I’m compelled to. That’s me and that’s ok.

We all are different. Once we begin to understand that, we can be more accepting of others and love them in the way that we were meant to. But it all begins with us understanding and loving ourselves first. We can no longer be people pleasers, we have to fans of ourselves.

Love. Hope. Faith.

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Long Distance Love

Posted on by Sherron

Real love is not based on conditions. It is never changing. If you’ve ever really loved someone, that love doesn’t just go away. Even through breakups and goodbyes, it still lingers. It just evolves into something else. The “in love” changes to love from a distance. That person becomes a part of your past, a chapter in your history.

Whether we know it or not, the people who come into our lives, whether they love us or hurt us, help to shape us into who we are.

So no matter how that relationship ended or what they did to you, forgive them and continue to love them despite of. You may never what to see them again, but that doesn’t mean the love goes away. It just turns into a long distance love.

#love #hope #faith

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Go Over, Not Under.

Posted on by Sherron

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

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1 + 2 = 2?

Posted on by Sherron

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

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Just Go Already!

Posted on by Sherron

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

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Parasites.

Posted on by Sherron

Don’t be alarmed, but they’re watching you. They see you making moves. They see your inner glow. They see your giving nature and joyful spirit. Instead of trying to develop these qualities within themselves, they are waiting in the cut, ready to pounce on you at the given opportunity.

Waiting and willing to suck all that life out of you to create their own.

Not everyone is going to put in the work that you did to get where you are and be who you are. So they search for people that they can drain. They will gladly ride your coat tails until you take them where they need to go. Beware of these parasites. Do not let them steal your energy and resources. Protect what’s valuable, you.

#love #hope #faith

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Read more on my blog. Link is in my profile.

Welcome to the Friendzone

Posted on by Sherron

What is this place that we’ve created? Somewhere that we store people who like us, may even love us, but the feelings aren’t mutual. We hang out with them when we’re in between relationships to keep us from being lonely or bored. Going to the movies, breaking bread, inviting them over; all while knowing we have no romantic interest in them. Listen here, I don’t have a friend zone nor do I desire to be in one. Please don’t hit me up to go to Applebee’s or Olive Garden because your girlfriend dumped you.

We need to get back to real friendships.
If you’re friends, be friends with no gray areas. This is how people get hurt because they feel there is wiggle room for more. They have the Steve Urkel mentality of “I’m wearing them down”, when in your mind it will never go there. No one desires to be used just to pass the time. No one should accept being trapped in a friend zone when there is someone willing to give the entire area.

#love #hope #faith

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