Go Over, Not Under.

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

image

1 + 2 = 2?

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

image

Just Go Already!

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

image

Again? Yes, Again.

Sometimes when I tell people I want to get married again, they can’t believe it. Those who know how it ended wonder why I would want to put myself through that pain again. But who’s to say that I will have the same experience? And honestly, it wasn’t all bad. We had times of fun and laughter, we prayed together, and there was love, but it just had to end. So if I can have good moments with a person who wasn’t meant for me, how beautiful will those moments be with the person that is? I will not let one bad experience taint my entire view of love and marriage.

Our experiences do shape us, but we should not allow them to shake our beliefs and our desires.

We do however, need to hold ourselves accountable and look at our own choices. Just because we fall the first time, doesn’t mean we can’t fly the next.
#love #hope #faith

image

Parasites.

Don’t be alarmed, but they’re watching you. They see you making moves. They see your inner glow. They see your giving nature and joyful spirit. Instead of trying to develop these qualities within themselves, they are waiting in the cut, ready to pounce on you at the given opportunity.

Waiting and willing to suck all that life out of you to create their own.

Not everyone is going to put in the work that you did to get where you are and be who you are. So they search for people that they can drain. They will gladly ride your coat tails until you take them where they need to go. Beware of these parasites. Do not let them steal your energy and resources. Protect what’s valuable, you.

#love #hope #faith

image

Read more on my blog. Link is in my profile.

I am Love.

You are looking at someone who loves love. I love to see people in love. I love to be in love. I love to give and receive love. But I discovered that my love was limited. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I felt that I didn’t have love. I was always looking for someone to give it to me. So what happened when I relied on one person to give me love?  I felt lonely and empty. I was on a never ending search for it.

Oh what a powerful revelation it was to discover I am love!

My love is not limited to one person, it can be given to everyone I come in contact with. So even in my single stage I can pour out love to my family, friends, my students, and through service.

I believe when we focus on giving love freely, we don’t have to look for it, it will search for us. It surrounds us. It is us.

#love #hope #faith

image

Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way.

It would be easier to just turn around. To run back to the familiar. This road you’re on is too hard. You had to leave the person you love, some of your friends, even family. You want to go back because it’s lonely on this path and the destination is uncertain. All you know is that you don’t belong where you once were. It was too complacent and staggered. So you know it’s time to elevate. Unfortunately, some people are going to have to stay behind.

You can’t take the same mindset and habits where you’re going.

It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but don’t turn back. There will be some long days and lonely nights. But new experiences and new people await you. Promotion awaits you. The rewards will be greater than anything you’re leaving behind, but you can’t reach them if you keep trying to turn around.

#love #hope #faith

image

Welcome to the Friendzone

What is this place that we’ve created? Somewhere that we store people who like us, may even love us, but the feelings aren’t mutual. We hang out with them when we’re in between relationships to keep us from being lonely or bored. Going to the movies, breaking bread, inviting them over; all while knowing we have no romantic interest in them. Listen here, I don’t have a friend zone nor do I desire to be in one. Please don’t hit me up to go to Applebee’s or Olive Garden because your girlfriend dumped you.

We need to get back to real friendships.
If you’re friends, be friends with no gray areas. This is how people get hurt because they feel there is wiggle room for more. They have the Steve Urkel mentality of “I’m wearing them down”, when in your mind it will never go there. No one desires to be used just to pass the time. No one should accept being trapped in a friend zone when there is someone willing to give the entire area.

#love #hope #faith

image

Amnesia.

The weather is changing. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. All these reminders that you are alone. It makes you start to think about the relationship that ended. All the fun you used to have and the places you used to go. You want to get back to love. A comfortable place where someone is holding you at night instead of loneliness being your company.

But wait.

Don’t forget the reasons why you are not together anymore. Remember the fights? The ignored phone calls and texts? The cheating? The blatant disrespect? Don’t let your loneliness give you a selective memory. Remember it ALL. That will help bring you back to reality. Do not let loneliness drive you back into the arms that did not know how to protect your heart. #love #hope #faith

image

Silence is an Answer too.

You know, there comes a point when you’ve just said all that you can say. You’ve called, you’ve texted, written letters, learned sign language, even spelled it out to them and they just don’t get it. You’ve exhausted every means of communication and it’s still not getting through. You’ve told them over and over again how you feel and they still don’t bother to listen. Their lack of effective commication has shown you how much they care. They dont. They no longer deserve your words. When you’ve said it all, let your silence speak for you. It can say more than you could ever speak.

#love #hope #faith