Why Did I Get Married?

I recently had a discussion with a few friends about marriage. They each said the same thing; they were afraid of getting married because of the horror stories associated with it (heck I have one of my own). They know spouses who cheat on each other. They hear stories of abuse and mistreatment. The divorce rate is high, so I don’t blame them for their fear. My argument was, when you think about these couples, look at what the circumstances were before they got married. 9 times out of 10, the same things that are happening within the marriage, is the same things that were happening before then.

People don’t change just because of a piece of paper and some rings.

If they were lying, cheating, and abusive in the relationship, chances are those things won’t cease just because of some wedding vows. Marriage is not the band aid to relationship wounds. When we realize this, we can possibly¬† avoid the demise of a beautiful institution.

#love #hope #faith

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Long Distance Love

Real love is not based on conditions. It is never changing. If you’ve ever really loved someone, that love doesn’t just go away. Even through breakups and goodbyes, it still lingers. It just evolves into something else. The “in love” changes to love from a distance. That person becomes a part of your past, a chapter in your history.

Whether we know it or not, the people who come into our lives, whether they love us or hurt us, help to shape us into who we are.

So no matter how that relationship ended or what they did to you, forgive them and continue to love them despite of. You may never what to see them again, but that doesn’t mean the love goes away. It just turns into a long distance love.

#love #hope #faith

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Go Over, Not Under.

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

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1 + 2 = 2?

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

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Just Go Already!

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

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Again? Yes, Again.

Sometimes when I tell people I want to get married again, they can’t believe it. Those who know how it ended wonder why I would want to put myself through that pain again. But who’s to say that I will have the same experience? And honestly, it wasn’t all bad. We had times of fun and laughter, we prayed together, and there was love, but it just had to end. So if I can have good moments with a person who wasn’t meant for me, how beautiful will those moments be with the person that is? I will not let one bad experience taint my entire view of love and marriage.

Our experiences do shape us, but we should not allow them to shake our beliefs and our desires.

We do however, need to hold ourselves accountable and look at our own choices. Just because we fall the first time, doesn’t mean we can’t fly the next.
#love #hope #faith

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Abraham. Jacob. Boaz. Christ.

I love the story of Jacob and Rachel. Jacob loved Rachel so much that he worked 7 years for her. And even after being deceived, he worked 7 more years just to have her (Genesis 29). Although this is a story from the Old Testament, it applies today.

Ladies, if a man really wants you, there is nothing on this green earth that will stop him from pursuing you.

I believe men are natural born leaders. They have God given instincts to be protectors, providers, and persuers. Now of course you have some that have not tapped into that instinct, but when a man truly knows who he is and seeks the Lord, he is able to become all those things. He knows what he wants and will do whatever he has to do to get them. And if you are on his list, you will become one of his priorities. There will be no excuses. So if you have to chase him down, he’s not the one. You are worthy ladies and if you’re worth it to him, he will show you. He will lead, fight for, protect, and love you without hesitation.

#love #hope #faith

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Parasites.

Don’t be alarmed, but they’re watching you. They see you making moves. They see your inner glow. They see your giving nature and joyful spirit. Instead of trying to develop these qualities within themselves, they are waiting in the cut, ready to pounce on you at the given opportunity.

Waiting and willing to suck all that life out of you to create their own.

Not everyone is going to put in the work that you did to get where you are and be who you are. So they search for people that they can drain. They will gladly ride your coat tails until you take them where they need to go. Beware of these parasites. Do not let them steal your energy and resources. Protect what’s valuable, you.

#love #hope #faith

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Read more on my blog. Link is in my profile.

I am Love.

You are looking at someone who loves love. I love to see people in love. I love to be in love. I love to give and receive love. But I discovered that my love was limited. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I felt that I didn’t have love. I was always looking for someone to give it to me. So what happened when I relied on one person to give me love?¬† I felt lonely and empty. I was on a never ending search for it.

Oh what a powerful revelation it was to discover I am love!

My love is not limited to one person, it can be given to everyone I come in contact with. So even in my single stage I can pour out love to my family, friends, my students, and through service.

I believe when we focus on giving love freely, we don’t have to look for it, it will search for us. It surrounds us. It is us.

#love #hope #faith

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Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way.

It would be easier to just turn around. To run back to the familiar. This road you’re on is too hard. You had to leave the person you love, some of your friends, even family. You want to go back because it’s lonely on this path and the destination is uncertain. All you know is that you don’t belong where you once were. It was too complacent and staggered. So you know it’s time to elevate. Unfortunately, some people are going to have to stay behind.

You can’t take the same mindset and habits where you’re going.

It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but don’t turn back. There will be some long days and lonely nights. But new experiences and new people await you. Promotion awaits you. The rewards will be greater than anything you’re leaving behind, but you can’t reach them if you keep trying to turn around.

#love #hope #faith

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