Attitude Adjustment.

Posted on by Sherron

I must admit, I move a little slow when it comes to letting go of people. It’s the Scorpio trait in me I suppose. If I’m having trouble removing you out of my life, it’s because we’ve built great memories, I’m thinking about how you used to be, and I’m desperately hoping you will change. But once I’m tired of the lack of phone calls, text messages not being responded to, and actions not being aligned with words, I finally wake up. Once I finally let go, I let go completely. You are nonexistent. You are a non-factor. The love is still there, but simply IDFWY. It’s interesting because its only when I get to that point, people start coming back around. I start getting those, “Hey stranger” texts.

No. Wait. Pause.

I have the title of a “stranger” only  because you gave it to me. You only see the distance that’s there, but not what was done to create it. People who are like that love to place the blame on you somehow, just to guilt you into letting them back in. But if I gave you a space in my life and you choose the lose your place by your own actions, don’t try weasel your way back in.

#love #hope #faith

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Holding On (L.T.D.)

Posted on by Sherron

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My friend said this to me the other day and it hit me like a lightening bolt. Every single relationship I’ve ever been in, I’ve fought to hold on to. Even in my marriage when I knew it might cost me my life if I stayed, I still battled with the decision of divorce.

I hold on to love for dear life because love IS my life.

It still is and will always be. I still love with all that I have in me, but I finally came to the realization that if I had to fight that hard, if I was fighting by myself, and if I was the only one holding on, it couldn’t be love. If it was, that’s not the kind of love that I wanted. I want someone who values me and the relationship just as much as I do. I want someone who respects me and is grateful to have me in their life. I want to be celebrated, not tolerated. I want someone that I will not have to chase, but will run towards me. I have not had that. When I finally let go because my hands were aching and bleeding from keeping things together, that’s when they wanted to come back. It’s not fair. Why should I give my heart back to the same person that broke it? What I need is someone who is going to hold on to me and never let go. And that’s what you need too.

#love #hope #faith

Round Holes, Square Pegs

Posted on by Sherron

I think we all at some point have had a picture in our mind of the type of person we would like to be with. Or at least an idea of how we would like our relationship to be. So when someone comes along that we like, we can sometimes try to fit them into the vision we have created for ourselves. We overlook habits, traits, and flaws that would otherwise be an issue, but we choose to ignore them because we want “them” to be “it”.

They become our mirage.

“So what if he smokes and drinks, thats not a big deal. I can get him to quit”.

“She might go out a lot now, but I’m sure I can change her”.

We start plotting ways that we can change them into the mold that we want. Eventually, we find out that we do not have the power to change anyone. In that discovery, the relationship falls apart and those things that were overlooked, soon become apparent. So we must be cautious in our choosing. We must be responsible for our choices. And we must not fall for our own illusions.

#love #hope #faith

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How About I Just Marry Myself?

Posted on by Sherron

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My sister Melissa and I had a great conversation about this story last night. It can be found here: http://madamenoire.com/506085/houston-woman-marries-herself/

A 40 year old woman (which is not old by the way) decides since she is single with no prospects, so she is going to marry herself. Some say she was desperate. Some say she was bold and showed self-love. I say she gave up.

When I thought more about this, the story of Sara and Abraham came to mind. Sara laughed at God when she was told that she would have a baby at her old age (Genesis 18). She even chose to move in her own effort by allowing Abraham to impregnate their servant Hagar, because she believed she was incapable of having children. Even through her moments of doubt and devising her own plans, she still conceived a child just as God had promised.

So guess what? Even when you try to move in your own effort (like give up on love and marry yourself), you can still receive the promises God meant for you to have.

Why would he put a desire in your heart without providing a way to fulfill it?

May you never lose sight of the vision God gave to you. If you want to be a wife or husband, it will happen. If you want to have children, it will happen. Find the scriptures that coincide with the desires you have and meditate on them each day. Hold on to your faith and the promises that were given to you by any means necessary.

#love #hope #faith

Why Did I Get Married?

Posted on by Sherron

I recently had a discussion with a few friends about marriage. They each said the same thing; they were afraid of getting married because of the horror stories associated with it (heck I have one of my own). They know spouses who cheat on each other. They hear stories of abuse and mistreatment. The divorce rate is high, so I don’t blame them for their fear. My argument was, when you think about these couples, look at what the circumstances were before they got married. 9 times out of 10, the same things that are happening within the marriage, is the same things that were happening before then.

People don’t change just because of a piece of paper and some rings.

If they were lying, cheating, and abusive in the relationship, chances are those things won’t cease just because of some wedding vows. Marriage is not the band aid to relationship wounds. When we realize this, we can possibly  avoid the demise of a beautiful institution.

#love #hope #faith

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Left Behind.

Posted on by Sherron

Just look back at who surrounded you and who you spent your time with last year. Are they still there now? For me, people I loved, people I believed would remain in my life forever, suddenly left. Unexplainable, unexpectedly, just seemed to disappeared.

I tried to chase, tried to beg, tried to hold on, but my efforts made no difference, they were gone.

I didn’t understand and sometimes I still dont, but I know it was God. I know He has greater plans for me and the places he has set for me to go, some people cannot come. So sometimes He has to tear our world apart and move people out of our way. It seems cruel and unfair, but He knows who belongs in our lives and who doesnt. Don’t fight Him when He starts shifting.

#love #hope #faith

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Long Distance Love

Posted on by Sherron

Real love is not based on conditions. It is never changing. If you’ve ever really loved someone, that love doesn’t just go away. Even through breakups and goodbyes, it still lingers. It just evolves into something else. The “in love” changes to love from a distance. That person becomes a part of your past, a chapter in your history.

Whether we know it or not, the people who come into our lives, whether they love us or hurt us, help to shape us into who we are.

So no matter how that relationship ended or what they did to you, forgive them and continue to love them despite of. You may never what to see them again, but that doesn’t mean the love goes away. It just turns into a long distance love.

#love #hope #faith

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Go Over, Not Under.

Posted on by Sherron

You’ve heard the phrase, “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. It may make you feel good for the moment, but it’s only a temporary fix. Moving on seems easier when you have someone else as a distraction, but the thoughts, issues, and memories will still be there if you never address them.

Getting into a rebound relationship is not going to numb the pain.

You will not be able to move into a healthy relationship, if you do not deal with the ending of the previous one. You should not start something new with old, unresolved feelings. As crazy as it sounds, let yourself feel the disappointment and saddness. Face your feelings head on and give yourself time to heal and regroup. Endings are usually great beginnings, but you shouldn’t move on to the next chapter if you didn’t understand the first.

#love #hope #faith

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1 + 2 = 2?

Posted on by Sherron

I am extremely selfish when it comes to love. I am not sharing you. You’re not about to run back and forth between me and someone else. I have no time for flip floppers. Or flakes. Or confusion.

It’s all or nothing with me.

Either I get the number one spot or there is no place for me. I’m smashing that runner up trophy. If someone else captures your attention, let them keep it. If their looks, style, personality, or big ass pulls you away from me, then get going. Because there is someone out there that will put me first and will realize there is no competition.

We have to have this attitude. We have to know our worth. Otherwise people will string us along, have us waiting, have us chasing, and have us competing. Relationships should not be a game show. Yes, dating allows you to discover what type of person you desire by seeing different people, but once a commitment has been made, the back and forth should cease. If they are running back and forth between you and someone else, take yourself out of the equation.

#love #hope #faith

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Just Go Already!

Posted on by Sherron

You know what holds us back? Ourselves. We are stagnant because of fear. We sit around waiting for other people to make moves with us. There’s a new resturant you wanna try, but you don’t want to eat alone. There’s a new movie you want to see, but you’re waiting for someone to take you.You want to travel, but what do you look like going alone? Things are more fun with other people so you want someone to come with you. But you’re not going to always have someone to keep you company. People can be flickle, flaky, and unreliable. Or simply, you are in a single stage where you have no one special to do things with. Should that stop you?

Absolutely not!

Let go of the fear and just go! Go see the places you’ve been wanting to visit, go try new things, and have no regrets! If you keep waiting, the next thing you know years have gone and life has passed you by. Time is way too short. My motto is “time waits for no one and honey neither do I”. Feel free to use it.

#love #hope #faith

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